Novel Excerpts
At the novel's beginning, She first encounters a VR experience in which She has the problem of free decision-making and functional use of various VR applications. The only thing that is possible for her in VR is generated hyper-realistic textual narratives, in which She is usually the main character or, rather, her virtual avatar. Later in the novel, She tries to get help through the VR community, but no one, except the LoL person with a pseudonym, has that problem. LoL informs from personal experience that AI bots of the metaverse have deadly attacked her: Think and Brain. Their task is to satisfy her needs since She is dissatisfied with the content offered in the metaverse and exits the applications after ten seconds. LoL suggested that She have to destroy all VR equipment and devices related to them.
// She: VR experience
I rushed out to the street to ensure the man wouldn't leave. As I approached him, I kept my right hand concealed behind my back, gripping the cold metal. He remained fixated on our yard, seemingly unaware of my presence.
“Sir, are you my mom's lover?”
He turned his gaze towards me, stunned. In front of him stood a determined twelve-year-old girl with a severe and unwavering gaze.
“N-no,” he said quietly. “I'm not anyone's lover, not even your mom’s. I don't know your mom.”
“And why are you standing here and looking at our house?”
“I'm not looking at your house. I'm looking at that tree…”
“Tree? That tree?” I repeated, bewildered.
“Yes, that tree,” he confirmed.
“But I thought you were looking at our house, our windows.”
“And which house is yours?” he asked, seemingly confused.
“Well, this one right here,” I clarified, pointing at the windows partially obscured by the tree. “Those windows.”
“Ah, I see,” he said, drawing out the word. “And why did you think I was watching your house and windows?”
“I thought you might be my mom's last lover because you were standing here looking towards our house. But now I see you're looking at the tree in front. Why are you looking at it?”
He didn't answer my question; instead, he asked me.
“And why did you come out to check if I was your mom's last lover?”
“Because I thought you were watching us,” I confessed. “I came out to tell you mom isn't well and you shouldn't come in.”
“No, I wouldn't have entered anyway,” he reassured me. “I was admiring that beautiful tree…”
“Yeah, many think it's beautiful,” I replied. “So, you weren't watching us in the house, and you're not my mom's last lover?”
“No, I wasn't watching you, I didn't even see you,” he clarified. “I'm not anyone's lover at all. I don't know your mom, and I doubt we will meet. I was just…”
“Well, I don't think you will,” I interjected. “She just passed away, and that's why I came out thinking you were the one she killed herself for.
”He offered a relieved sigh.
“Thankfully, I'm not responsible for that…”
“Yes, you're lucky, sir,” I retorted.
The man slowly walked away down the street, and I watched him disappear into the distance.
“I'm so sorry about your mom,” he called back. “Call the police.”
“Yes, I know what to do,” I replied, trying to sound composed. “Don't worry.”
I turned and walked back towards the house. In my right hand, hidden against my body, I gripped the cold, heavy pistol.
CLICK, exit
// Logging*
She nervously took off the Valve headset and dropped the controllers on the table next to the just-closed laptop. Walking over to the window, She looked outside at the tree in front. That's not that tree, She thought. This is a story that I know from somewhere, familiar... How is it here? Now? Something's wrong. The controllers aren't working; I was a girl with defined movement, role, and narrative. No personal initiative, action, or even movement. Everything was predefined.
She turned abruptly and went towards the fridge. She took out a carafe of cold water and filled a large glass. It was like acting in a theater or watching a 3D movie. She poured water into the carafe and returned it to its place in the fridge. Something’s seriously not right!
She sat down on a soft sofa with a glass in her hand. She drank water with a flavor of cinnamon and mint and looked at her bare feet, fingers... She hated them. Because of that bump there. They would be lovely if it weren't there and if this finger was shorter up to the thumb. Greek foot...
She drank the water in short sips, then jumped up from the sofa. Placing the glass beside the Valve, She came back to the window. Where’s this déjà vu coming from? And in the metaverse, no less? I experienced this five minutes ago. The experience was vivid, the emotional tension of the girl still resonating within her, the weight of the pistol in her hand, the stale scent of the fifty-year-old's clothes, and the warmth of the summer day. She had already seen, read, and heard this as a story. Or did she experience it? Of course, I didn’t. After all, my mother didn't kill herself; she died in the hospital... I'm going crazy... It's better to go out and take a walk. Drink coffee on the café terrace.
She slipped on her flip-flops, put the cell phone in the back pocket of her jeans, pulled the key out of the lock, and stepped outside...
* The recording process in IT is the process of recording and storing information about events, actions, or operations that occur within a software system, application, or device. In the novel, it refers to recording information about the events, actions, and mental states of the main character.
//Logging
She sat at the laptop, put on the Valve headset, and entered the metaverse. Surprise mode was overflowing with new possibilities—hundreds of applications. But She didn’t want to try any of them. She understood now. She knew. She knew it was too late, that She had made a mistake. Quickly, She exited the program, yanked the Valve headset off her head, and angrily threw it to the floor. She slammed the laptop shut."LoL was right!" She muttered bitterly. "I turned out to be such a fool... Looks like curiosity will kill the cat after all!"
Meanwhile, She meets a Young Man. They fall in love based on trust and mutual attraction. In long walks and conversations, he slowly reveals his deeply hidden secrets to her, part by part. After the first intimate physical connection, he confesses the painful truth about himself to her.
So, I am the product of my father’s genetic manipulation, his sick imagination, and his ambition to create me—his so-called son—as a character from novels or movies. According to all this, I am the physical realization of an imaginary character created with the DNA of a chosen, completely unknown person to me. And, of course, I succeeded as a kind of modified copy of someone unknown's appearance and other features... The book I tried to give you was a foolish attempt to escape the reality of who I am and to separate myself from the novel, which I dislike and which, I suppose, might have inspired my father’s experiment. Why else would he have given me that particular novel? I connected the dots, although I doubted it later... There are many possibilities for his crazy initiative, but I focused on that novel. Somehow, it made the most sense to me... Who knows, since I never had the opportunity to discuss it with him? Let it remain a secret for the rest of my life... After reading that novel, my reaction was similar to yours—I didn’t like that sloppy, smug, and cruel character. But it was also my way of pointing out this problem in my life... I’m glad my father’s experiment didn’t fully succeed, as he admitted in correspondence with one of his main collaborators, which I also have. He was unhappy that he didn’t manage to turn me toward the male sex, or at least bisexuality. He was particularly disturbed by this, which he repeatedly pointed out as a mistake in DNA coding—that I didn’t incline toward men. I believe that was one of the important criteria in my creation. What a sick ambition, but completely normal for him. But luckily, he made a mistake in modifying the DNA template. However, he wasn’t completely dissatisfied because I exceeded all his physical expectations. In that correspondence, he emphasized that as I grew older, I surpassed all his fantasies, becoming more beautiful and handsome than anything he could have imagined. And, of course, I was aging, which was the most obvious..."
He fell silent after this long, confessional monologue. She had remained silent the whole time, letting him freely express everything on his mind. Finally, She broke the silence.
"All that doesn’t change how I feel about you—if that’s what you were afraid of."
"That was my fear from the first moment I saw you, but I felt that you were the one I could trust completely, to whom I could tell my scary and surreal life story. I haven’t had the chance to tell anyone before you. I have never met someone I will trust enough to confide in and share all these hidden emotions. It’s hard for me to live with my own life story... This story is very tricky, and I wouldn’t want to open Pandora’s Box," he said seriously.
"I understand completely. This could be used against your father, and it would reflect poorly on you as well... No, you weren’t wrong; everything you’ve told me will forever remain between us. No one will ever hear your secret from me. It all seems like science fiction, and I know you must have suffered greatly after learning this painful truth. Science is powerful; your father used his knowledge and resources to fulfill his dreams and create you. I am sincerely grateful to him for that, no matter how much the truth about yourself hurts you—because you exist, and I can feel and love you... This is truly pioneering work, an experiment that brought you into existence. Fortunately... Know that this will not be an obstacle to the further development of our relationship."
She and Young Man have a small circle of friends, but they don't reveal to any of them the secrets of his origin and origin and her fight against AI bots. She decided not to follow LoL's advice because she wanted to explore all the possibilities of VR's effects and the metaverse's AI bots on the human brain. She is engaged in research in the field of quantum physics, and this is a new challenge for her. However, by activating the bot Brain, She feels worse and knows that She made an irreparable mistake that is dangerous for her life.
// Logging
She sat on the terrace with the Young man and the Artist. There was a strange energy between them, an invisible pressure, a palpable tension. They drank silently, lost in their thoughts yet aware that something was off. She kept turning her head to the left, almost twitching it, which the two men quickly noticed.
"Is something bothering you?" the Young man asked, his voice laced with concern.
"No, nothing. I've had a terrible headache since this morning, and it's like something is right here on the left side," She said, pointing just above her temple.
He leaned closer, gently moving aside the blue strand of her hair.
"I don't see anything unusual."
"I know, it's all inside, in my head," She replied quickly, her voice flustered.
"You're worrying me..." the Young man said softly, his eyes full of concern.
"And myself," She added nervously, cutting him off. Trying to change the subject, She asked, "Do you want me to order another round? I'm going to order..."
The Artist nodded quietly. She got up quickly and entered the café, leaving them to exchange worried glances.
"Something's not right with her," the Artist stated plainly. "She's acting strange. She's never been this nervous before."
"Yeah, I can't figure it out," the Young man replied, clearly troubled. "She's been avoiding me lately. I can't remember the last time I spent the night at her place. We've had such a great time together until recently. I'm really worried. Her headaches are getting worse and more frequent... She's stopped working on her research and spends most of her time lying in silence, deep in thought. She’s trying, but it’s obvious that something is weighing her down."
Inside the café, She nervously ordered two lemonades with mint, passion fruit, and a double grappa. As the Waiter poured the drinks, She headed toward the restroom. Seeing her distress, he asked, "Are you feeling better?"
"Unfortunately, no... but don't tell them," She replied in a low and tense voice.
"Don't worry, I won't say a word," he assured her sympathetically.
She paused, then said hushedly, "My head is a mess. It hurts so much that I can hardly think straight. I keep seeing these disjointed images in my mind, some from my early childhood, others that have nothing to do with me. It’s like my reality is mixed with something else... It's driving me crazy."
The Waiter stopped mid-pour, sympathy etched on his face. "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you."
She just waved him off. "Maybe it'll pass soon," She said, though her voice lacked conviction.
"I'm not sure it will," She whispered to herself as She entered the restroom.
She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. I have dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and worry. My hair looks flat and lifeless. My eyes are blurry and swollen like they don't belong to me. I don't recognize myself anymore. This... this thing in my head is destroying me. If only I had listened to LoL... But what's done is done. There's no turning back now. I haven't used Valve in days, and the chaos in my head is growing. It's burning me up inside... She splashed her face with water and quickly left the restroom.
As She passed the Waiter, who was still watching her with concern, She said in passing, "Everything will be fine. Don't worry."
He shook his head slightly but said nothing. When She returned to the table, She saw that the drinks had already been served.
"How are you feeling?" the Young man asked, his worried gaze never leaving her.
"Not great. My head... it's taking a toll on me," She admitted.
"Does it hurt a lot?" the Artist asked.
She glanced at him briefly. "I know a trick," he started, "if you press this point on your palm hard enough—"
"Yes, I tried it in the bathroom, but nothing’s changed," She lied, hoping to calm them down. In truth, She had little patience left for other people, even those she cared about deeply. She hadn’t answered any of Fatty's persistent phone calls. She had completely turned inward, consumed by her problem. She couldn’t find a solution and felt the inevitable end that LoL had warned her about drawing nearer.
"It just takes time," the Artist said, trying to offer some comfort.
I know there's no help for me, She thought bitterly. LoL went through this; she knew what kind of hell I was headed for if I didn’t listen. But I didn’t listen. I have to take responsibility for my mistakes. What else can I do? She forced herself to reflect on her condition, gathering what little strength She had left.
"Well, guys, I’m going to head out. I can’t take it anymore. I need to lie down," She said, standing up from the table.
"I'll go with you," the Young man said, rising to his feet.
"No, no," She replied quickly. "You can’t help me. I want to lie down and sleep. Maybe sleep will help... maybe." She forced a smile, then wrapped her long, thin arms around him, pulling him close. She pressed her body against his and kissed him. The kiss was long and tender. Maybe the last one? She thought sadly.
//Logging
She slowly rose from the sofa, her body heavy with exhaustion. She needed to get to the bathroom, to splash cold water on her face. Her head was on fire, the pain consuming her. It was already night outside, and her phone kept ringing incessantly. It must be Fatty, She thought, her mind foggy with the last remnants of consciousness. She knows... she feels I'm slipping away...
She stopped halfway across the living room, unable to take another step. Her body began to convulse violently, her head jerking uncontrollably from side to side. Her eyes bulged, straining as if they were about to burst from their sockets. Her face was almost unrecognizable now, twisted beyond anything familiar. The pain intensified to the point where She could no longer feel it—only the violent, uncontrollable movements of her body.
She convulsed and bent over, her mouth silent. No cries, no gasps—just the sound of her body being overtaken by something far beyond her control. Her body no longer obeyed her; it was no longer hers. There was no longer pain localized in her head, no longer thoughts of the brain—her entire body had become the brain. She was one immense, focused mass of pure agony, an embodiment of millions upon millions of jumbled, frantic pieces of information that her twitching, convulsing body could no longer process.
That body was no longer her. She had disappeared hours ago, maybe even days ago. What remained was something unrecognizable—a physical mass, overwhelmed and chaotic, trapped in a futile search for an escape. There was no outlet, no way to process the information flooding her, only the unbearable heat rising within her like magma in the earth's core.And then, in an instant, that chaotic, convulsing mass collapsed onto the floor, bouncing and twitching—until it simply stopped.
Big Bang*
X
* The Big Bang is the most likely and most accepted theory of the origin of the universe, which was created by the explosion of an enormously hot and dense point, called a singularity, 13.8 billion years ago when it began to expand, forming atoms, stars, galaxies, planets and finally life; Big Bang is a symbol of the beginning of everything, in the novel Big Bang symbolically denotes its polar opposite - the end, specifically the brain explosion, i.e. death.
LoL, one of the most famous hackers, hides her secret identity with a luxurious life in Monte Carlo, surrounded by a collection of expensive paintings inherited from her wealthy father. In a moment of reflection, she realizes that she has not been honest with She and checks her status through her computer realizing that She did not immediately destroy the VR equipment and her life is threatened by an attack by the AI bots of the metaverse Think and Brain. LoL decides to help her by hacking both bots but is unsure how to hack her brain. The Brain bot must have sent millions of overwhelming information to her brain. She prepares to leave to try to help her, hoping it's not too late.
//Logging
She stood barefoot in front of the sofa, her body convulsing in slow, painful waves. The room was dim, lit only by the streetlight outside. It was around midnight, but time held no meaning for her anymore. Her muscles cramped and twitched, hands tightening into fists, feet curling involuntarily. Her gaze was unfocused, vision blurred, as though something inside her was battling for control, consuming her from within.
At her feet, the striped orange Cat meowed loudly, circling her legs, brushing against her with its body, desperate for her attention. But she didn’t feel it. She didn’t feel anything. She was completely disconnected from the world around her, trapped within herself. The Cat suddenly stopped, sensing movement at the entrance. It turned towards the sound just as a figure burst through the door. In a split second, a girl clad in a leather jacket, with a black-and-white Arabic scarf draped around her neck and a black hooded sweatshirt pulled low over her head, surveyed the room.
As soon as she entered, the Cat bolted toward the kitchen. The girl, LoL, took in the scene with a glance. Uh, this is already serious. It looks like I'm too late after all! She thought, rushing to the open laptop. Pulling a small device from her jacket's pocket, she plugged it in and began typing furiously.
First, I'll hack into Think to stop the flow of new information. That’s the most urgent thing right now, she muttered, nodding slightly as she gained control. The Brain is also being hacked, but it'll take time to neutralize it completely and restore the metaverse to normal. She typed a series of new commands, watching as the computer processed them swiftly.
Satisfied with the progress, LoL turned her attention back to the girl. Her convulsions had lessened, and her eyes now closed. LoL studied her more closely, noticing the startling similarities. This black-haired girl looks a lot like me, she mused. We’re about the same age and height, and even our faces are similar... like looking in a mirror. How is this possible?
LoL shook her head in disbelief, trying to focus on the task. She returned to the laptop, which had just finished processing the commands, one window closing after another. Then—CRASH! The sharp sound of breaking glass shattered the quiet coming from the kitchen.
LoL rushed toward the noise and saw the Cat standing frozen on the counter, surrounded by broken glass and coffee grounds. Like he knows the trouble he's caused, she thought. But before she could react further, there was movement behind her.
The girl was on her knees now, arms hanging limply at her sides, drenched in sweat and struggling for breath. LoL quickly approached, placing a hand on her back. She's completely soaked, LoL murmured to herself, watching beads of sweat roll down the girl's face and body. She was gasping for air as though She had been pulled from the depths of a drowning sea.
Uuuh, this Cat saved her. The noise snapped her out of that brain loop. How lucky—I'd have had no idea how to hack her brain anyway, LoL thought, relieved. She glanced at the Cat and said, "Good job, cat. You did your part."
LoL led the Cat to the front door and let it out. After the Cat darted down the stairs, LoL returned to the girl, who was still breathing heavily but seemed calming. She gently lifted her from behind, dragged her to the sofa, and laid her down.
"Rest," LoL whispered. "Everything will be fine now. The worst is over."
She looked around the room, entered the hall, and entered the bathroom. I like it here, everything is minimal, she thought. She turned on the soft, diffused light and opened the single closet that ran from floor to ceiling, flush with the wall. Inside, she saw a vacuum cleaner, a brush, a fertilizer spreader, a jogger, and various cleaning chemicals. She grabbed the brush and dustpan.
The bathroom light remained on as she hadn’t closed the door. Avoiding the mess in the living room, she stepped into the kitchen and flicked on the counter lights. Carefully, she swept up the broken glass and spilled coffee with the brush. After opening several cabinets, she found a half-full trash can and disposed of the debris. The kitchen is more or less cleaned up. It’s safe to walk here again, she thought with some satisfaction.
She then walked back to the girl, carrying the brush and dustpan. Her breathing is more even, but she’s still unresponsive. I hope the damage to her brain and nervous system isn’t permanent. I need to get her circulation going and change her clothes. She’s completely soaked, and LoL noted concern.
She put the cleaning tools away and filled the bathtub with lukewarm water before returning to the girl. Carefully and gently, LoL began to undress her. Removing the tight jeans took considerable effort, but she eventually succeeded. Next, she slid off the panties and then, more easily, the black T-shirt. LoL placed the discarded clothes on a nearby stool, leaving the girl completely naked. As she undressed her, LoL took a closer look at her body. Amazing! LoL marveled. She had a mole in the same spot as me, noticing the small mark on her thigh.
Lifting her limp body, LoL carried her to the bathroom with great care. She’s still completely unaware of what’s happening around her... she thought while struggling to lower her into the filling bathtub. Once the girl was submerged, LoL quickly undressed and climbed into the tub, sitting across from her. She turned off the water. This will do us both some good.
With a glove made of a natural sponge hanging from a hook on the wall, LoL began rubbing the girl's feet, legs, and then her entire body. I need to restore her blood circulation... and get her central nervous system functioning again. Time passed, and the water began to cool.
LoL stood, found towels, and dried herself. She then walked naked into the living room, searching for the bedroom. Finding a closed door, she unlocked it with the key left in the lock and turned on the light. This isn’t a bedroom. She probably isn’t even using it, LoL thought as she entered the room. Shelves filled with books lined the walls, and a large desk cluttered with papers and monitors sat on a custom-made counter. Look, it's Prism. Well done! This is serious,… she mused, impressed.
As she entered the room, LoL noticed a leather lounger with a painting on an easel. She stepped closer to examine the unframed work. Well, it’s a portrait of that guy she photographed earlier. It's an interesting piece—somewhere between cubism, futurism, and Bacon, LoL thought, admiring the artwork.
She recognized the Young man from the blurry photo the girl had snapped recently on her phone. I like the painting. It’s excellent! But I don’t recognize the signature, LoL noted, intrigued.
She turned off the light and left the room, deciding not to lock the door behind her. LoL glanced at the girl still lying quietly in the bathtub. She’s stable now. Let her rest—the worst is over...
LoL removed the bedclothes from the storage beneath the sofa and spread them out neatly. She prepared the bed and then returned to the bathroom. With care, she lifted the girl’s limp body from the tub and dried her off with a large towel. LoL held her hand, using the other to drain the bath and hang the wet towel. She’s so beautiful... LoL thought I hadn’t seen a woman this stunning in a long time, captivated by the girl's appearance.
With great care, LoL carried her to the bed and gently laid her down, ensuring she was comfortable. Then, she lay beside her, listening to the girl’s steady breathing. LoL placed her left arm across the girl's stomach, feeling relieved. It’s been a long day but a successful one. It's time to sleep.